Never Say Goodbye
by SpicySugar
Summary: Lily thinks she’s found her one comfort, the one guy she can talk to and love, and he’s friends with James Potter, whom she despises. But she thinks she can work around that. But how long can she ignore James’s pleas for her to come to him? HITS: 490
1. Another Ordinary Day

AN: Okay, new story (yes, ANOTHER one…) and if you haven't read my other newest story, "Easier To Run," and you're a HarryxHermione shipper, PLEASE read it, but more importantly, REVIEW IT! Anyway… this story is going to be interesting, I can tell. I have it completely outlined, and it will be 10 chapters, so it'll be a little shortie story. Since it's summer now, I will be able to update often and not have three months between months… So, without further ado, on with the first chapter!

The pointless disclaimer: I own not HP.

* * *

Chapter 1: Another Ordinary Day

Lily Evans stormed through the halls of Hogwarts, her black school robes billowing behind her. She was on her way to the Great Hall for breakfast on a March Saturday morning, but she wasn't terribly hungry at the moment…. That god-forsaken _Potter_ had done it again… how he did it, she never figured out, but somehow, every Saturday and Sunday morning, the contents of her trunk was all over the seventh year girls' dormitory. This morning was no different. She had woken up to find all her robes, her books, everything she owned strewn across the floor. And every morning, as always, was a small note in the bottom of her empty trunk, reading, "_Just thought I'd tidy up your things a bit! Your friendly dormitory maid, James Potter."_ Friendly, ha! Thought Lily. James Potter was anything but friendly. She had confronted him so many times… threatened to hex him into the next millennium… but _still_, he had the audacity to commit this crime every weekend morning. She walked past a couple of third year boys that were tormenting a first year girl and stopped.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" she snapped at them. Both of the third years had their wands out.

"Nothing, your high and mighty Head Girl, ma'am," said one of them sardonically. This did nothing for her already stretched temper currently, and she narrowed her eyes.

"Say again? I don't think I quite heard you properly…" said Lily, glaring at them.

"You heard him," said the boy's companion. "We weren't doing nothing."

"Well, since that's a double negative, that implies that you were doing a whole lot of something," remarked Lily. She noticed the young girl was remaining deliberately silent. "I think house points docked are in order…" She glanced at the patches on the boys' robes and noted the green snake crest. "Five points apiece from Slytherin."

"_What_?" yelled the first boy. "You can't do that!"

"Well, actually, you'll find that the 'high and mighty Head Girl' has many privileges, and docking points is one of them," said Lily. "And if you don't leave this girl alone, I'll exercise the privilege to give you both detention." The two boys glared at Lily before walking off in the opposite direction. Lily then bent down slightly so she could be at eye level with the first year girl. She noticed that she was in Gryffindor.

"Hi, my name's Lily," she said.

"I know… you're the Head Girl, everyone knows who you are," said the girl quietly.

"Well, what's your name?"

"I'm Kiara Dynerst," replied the girl.

"That's a pretty name, I like it. Now, if those two boys ever bother you again, you come find me and let me know, okay?"

"Okay," she said with a smile. "Are you going to breakfast?" Kiara asked.

"Yes, I am."

"Can I walk down with you? I—" Kiara hesitated. "All my friends are already down there, so I don't have anyone to walk with."

"Sure," said Lily, rising again to her full height. She walked slightly slower than normal so Kiara could keep up, since Lily's legs were much longer than hers and took longer strides. She was glad she had to solve that confrontation; it lessened her anger toward James for the moment.

* * *

Once Lily and Kiara got to the Great Hall, they separated and Lily sat down with her best friend, Margo. She was fairly short for being seventeen, with several freckles and reddish-brown hair.

"He did it again," said Lily simply.

"I assure you, Lil, when I left the dorm, everything was neat as a pin," said Margo. "I thought maybe he had finally quit."

"I've just got to stop being the last girl up," said Lily. "It's, what, nine thirty now?"

"Yeah," said Margo, checking her watch. "When I left it was eight forty five."

"And you've been down here all this time?" asked Lily.

"Well… no…" said Margo quietly, a pink tinge appearing in her cheeks and mischievous smile growing on her lips. Lily's eyes widened.

"Did he—" asked Lily, not finishing the question. Margo nodded.

"If you're thinking the same thing I am, then yes." Lily lowered her voice to a whisper.

"Did Daniel kiss you?" Margo blushed full out and nodded. Daniel Boot was a Ravenclaw seventh year. He was dashingly handsome, a prefect, and quite a gentleman. He also happened to be Margo's boyfriend since the beginning of the school year.

"So how was it?" asked Lily. All the girls were jealous of Margo for getting one of the best looking guys in the seventh year. Margo just smiled. Lily didn't inquire further. The other two boys the girls drooled over were James Potter and Sirius Black. Lily shuddered at the very thought of being in a relationship with _James Potter_. Sirius wasn't much better, but given the choice between the two, she'd probably pick Sirius. The last thing she needed was to be the girlfriend of the arrogant, pompous, haughty, Head Boy that was James Potter. The most association that she wanted with him was the fact that they were partners in school administration. _How_ he even got to be Head Boy she couldn't manage to figure out.

"Lily? Are you in there?" asked Margo, snapping her fingers in front of Lily's face.

"Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. I was just thinking. Were you saying something?" said Lily.

"Yes, I was asking you what you were going to say to Potter this time, since he's heading your way," said Margo, nodding in the direction of the Great Hall entrance. Lily whipped her head around and saw James strutting her direction, a smirk plastered on his face.

"Lovely," said Lily. "I'm running out of comebacks, Margo… this happens too damn often."

"Cursing, Lily? Naughty, naughty," said James, walking up to Lily. She laughed out loud.

"Me? I'm nothing compared to you, Potter!" she retorted.

"Moody, are we?" asked James coolly.

"Just a little bit," said Lily stiffly.

"Come on, Lily, lighten up, it's Saturday… no classes at all…" James rambled.

"Yes, isn't it wonderful? That gives me an excuse to not see _you_ all day long!" said Lily, standing and looking James Arrogant Potter right in the eyes. The entire Gryffindor table became silent, watching the pair with interest.

"Now, Lily, you don't really feel that way, do you?" asked James, raising his eyebrows, clearly enjoying the audience.

"Yes, James Potter, I do, and if you don't stop ransacking my room every damn weekend morning I'll—"

"You'll what?" said James into her ear, quietly, so no one could hear. Then, without warning, he suddenly pressed his lips onto hers. Lily quite clearly heard the entire table gasp as a whole. Lily had kissed several boys before, but for James Potter to force himself upon her… _that _was a different story. She forcefully shoved him away and glared at him with such hatred that even the people around her felt the heat in her gaze.

"You insolent _bastard_!" Lily shouted, about the time that Headmaster Dumbledore came walking over to Lily and James to sort out the quarrel. He no longer had the jovial twinkle in his eyes he usually possessed.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, I think you should come with me," he said calmly.

Lily glared at James all the way up to the Headmaster's office.

* * *

AN: Okay, that's chapter one. My first chapters are always kind of short, but bear with me, the rest of the chapters WILL be longer… promise –smiles- So, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, PLEASE review! –begs-

xXx- SpicySugar –xXx-


	2. Something?

AN: Okay, back I am! Thanks to my reviewers for last chapter: **Alanpatty07, Heba Star, dux, yay, Lancetree80,** and one of my friends whom I begged and pleased to review: **becauseumademe**.

* * *

Chapter 2: Something?

Lily stood as far away from James as possible once they were in front of the Headmaster's desk. Whereas her eyes still had anger in them, James was calm and expressionless. She knew she would get blamed for this. She just knew it.

"Miss Evans, please, explain to me what happened," said Professor Dumbledore.

"Well, Professor, I was sitting in the Great Hall talking to my friend, then Potter comes over and starts taunting me, then he…" Lily hesitated, and then decided that the Headmaster probably saw it anyway, so she continued, "then he kissed me, and… you know the rest." She wasn't a tattletale. She wouldn't complain to Professor Dumbledore about what James did to her every weekend. She could handle it well enough.

"Miss Evans… Mr. Potter… this is very unscrupulous behavior for the Heads to be demonstrating. If it ever happens again, I will be forced upon the decision of revoking your privileges as Head Boy and Girl."

"Yes, sir," responded the two teens.

"I am also going to take fifteen points from each of you from Gryffindor house."

"Yes, sir," they replied again.

"Are we all in understanding about this?" asked Professor Dumbledore. Lily and James nodded.

"You may go," he said.

* * *

Margo, who had been sitting in the Great Hall since Lily and James left, had been carefully watching the hourglass that marked how many points Gryffindor had. Sure enough, after about ten minutes of them being gone, around thirty gems were removed. She simply shook her head.

* * *

Lily was deliberately calm only until they were back in the corridor leading away from the Headmaster's office.

"Potter! You, you arrogant idiot, just caused Gryffindor to lose _thirty_ points! _Thirty_!" said Lily loudly.

"Don't forget about the fact that we nearly had our badges removed," reminded James coolly. Lily glared at him.

"This is your fault. This is all _your_ fault, and you know it!"

"Well, Lils, I don't know… for a second there I thought I felt you kissing me back…" said James slyly. Lily could take it no longer. She stopped where she was, faced him, and slapped him hard across the face. He seemed slightly taken aback.

"Don't you ever, _ever_, call me 'Lils' again," she growled, and she walked off, leaving James standing there in the middle of the hallway, frozen in shock.

* * *

Lily didn't bother going back to the Great Hall, as she wasn't feeling hungry anymore. Instead, she went up to her dormitory in Gryffindor Tower and flopped down on her bed. She simply stared at the ceiling, thinking. Why did James always want her in trouble? Why did he always want _himself_ in trouble? Why couldn't all guys be more like… oh, say, Remus Lupin? It's said that opposites attract, and Remus Lupin and James Potter couldn't be any more opposite. How did they end up friends? On one hand, you have Remus: kind, good-hearted, and studious. Then, you have James: selfish, arrogant, with no care for rules. How did two people so completely different end up so inseparable? Come to think of it, there were _many_ admirable qualities in Remus…

"Lily?" came a tentative voice. Lily did not move from her position on the bed.

"Yeah, Margo?" she said.

"I thought you might be up here, since you didn't come back down to the Great Hall. What happened with Dumbledore?" asked Margo, sitting down next to Lily on the bed. Lily sat up and leaned against the headboard.

"Well, the first thing he asked was what happened. Thankfully, I was able to tell the story, because you know that if Potter told it, it would have been all in his favor," started Lily. Margo nodded. "Then, he gave us this big long statement about how what we did was not appropriate behavior for the Heads to be showing and that it was wrong of us…" Margo laughed.

"And he thought you didn't know that already?" she asked.

"Well, I think he knew that I knew it was wrong, but he had his doubts about James, I'm sure," replied Lily.

"Anyway, go on," said Margo.

"Then he said that if it ever happened again he would revoke our rights as Head Boy and Girl, and he docked thirty points."

"Well, that isn't too bad. It could have been worse. He could have given you detention or something," reasoned Margo.

"Yeah, I'm surprised he didn't, actually, making a disturbance that big at breakfast. I'm just glad he didn't."

* * *

"James Potter, you are an idiot," scolded Remus Lupin, as he and James walked around the grounds.

"You've only told me that about a hundred times this past week, Moony," said James dully.

"But this time I really mean it, James: you are an _idiot_."

"So you mean you didn't mean it all those other times?" said James with false happiness. Remus glared at him.

"James, be serious for a minute," said Remus. "I mean, look, we all know you're in love with Lily—"

"I am _not_!" protested James. Remus just rolled his eyes.

"Sure, right, whatever you say, Prongs. Anyway… just because you want to have Lily doesn't mean you need to go to such _drastic_ measures! Because of you, thirty points got taken away from Gryffindor, and you _know_ howLily hates being the one to cause points being taken from her house!"

"She doesn't mind taking them away from other people…" muttered James. Remus glared at him again. "Okay, keep talking, I'm listening," said James.

"James, look," said Remus, stopping and turning toward James. "Lily is a wonderful girl. You know it, I know it, Sirius knows it, practically the entire _school_ knows it. But, if you really want her, you've got to try a different tactic… something that can really win her over. She's not easily impressed, and you know it."

"You're right Remus… but I'm just trying to win her over the only way I know how…" said James.

"Have you ever heard of the phrase, 'If at first you don't succeed, try and try again'?"

"Yeah, and that's what I'm doing, Remus," said James.

"I know, and the phrase is useless. So, I've modified it a bit."

"To what?"

"If at first you don't succeed, _try something else_," said Remus with a smile.

"But I don't know any other ways…"

"That's why you have to _learn_ a different way, Prongs," said Remus simply.

* * *

Later, as Remus was sitting alone under a large beech tree on the grounds, he started thinking about Lily. He would never tell James, or any of the other Marauders, or any living being, for that matter, but he had always admired Lily. He had admired her in a way that wasn't like anyone else. If given the right of way, he's might even go as far as to say he had a crush on her. She was so nice to everyone (except James and all other troublemakers), she almost always had a smile gracing her lips (unless she was face-to-face with James), she laughed at every joke she heard (save when James told one), and she was pretty to boot (with the exception of when she was berating James, as then she looked rather scary). Lily really _was_ a wonderful girl… but he knew that James wanted her to be _his_ girl, and he wouldn't deprive his best friend of the thing he wanted most.

Unless, of course, the opportunity was just too good to pass up…

* * *

"Margo?" asked Lily a couple hours later, when they were in the dorm after returning from lunch. Lily was again lying on her back on the bed.

"Yeah, Lil?"

"Why does he do this to me?" she asked, more to the ceiling than to her friend. Margo didn't reply immediately.

"Well… Lily, I would think you know why," she responded slowly. "Remember back in fifth year? Right after our Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.?"

"You mean when James flipped Snape upside down out by the lake? How could I forget…" said Lily.

"You protested against James and told him to put Snape down. Remember what James said?"

Lily thought for a moment.

"'I will if you'll go out with me, Evans,' I think he said," said Lily. "So are you saying that Potter still has that stupid crush on me?"

"It's possible, isn't it?"

"Something tells me, no," said Lily.

"Come on, Lily, anything is possible."

"Yeah, and Voldemort's going to be defeated my infant child someday…" said Lily sarcastically. Margo laughed.

"Just forget about it. Think about something else," said Margo.

"I have been."

"Really, what?"

"Remus Lupin."

"Say again?"

"I've been thinking about Remus Lupin," repeated Lily.

"Oh, so now you've got a crush on _him_?" said Margo playfully.

"I don't know Margo… I just don't know…"

* * *

"Hey Jamsie!" said Sirius cheerfully as James plopped down in the common room. James replied with a blank stare.

"So… how did it go this morning? I was sleeping so I didn't see the show," continued Sirius.

"You've heard, have you?" replied James.

"Of course, I have, Prongs! If the entire school knows, surely I must know!" said Sirius in that still cheerful voice.

"Then you know 'how it went' obviously," said James.

"Pretty bad, huh?" said Sirius, sounding more sober as he lowered his voice slightly.

"She slapped me," said James simply. "On the way back from Dumbledore's office."

"She _what_?" said Sirius with false astonishment.

"She really hates me, Sirius… there's nothing else to it. She truly, honestly, hates me," said James.

"But we all knew this already…" said Sirius.

"You aren't helping at all," snapped James.

"Sorry, sorry… just don't want to tell you lies, is all…" said Sirius innocently.

"And you haven't lied to me before?" asked James cynically, looking at Sirius.

"Why, surely not I!" replied Sirius, gasping and widening his eyes in fake amazement. James just rolled his eyes.

"You know, Padfoot, if you wanted to give encouragement, I don't think joking around was the proper way to do it…" said Remus, who suddenly appeared next to James and Sirius. He sat down in an empty chair.

"Where have you been?" asked Sirius suspiciously, eyeing Remus.

"Just walking," replied Remus.

"And doing what?"

"Thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

"I really think that's none of your business," said Remus.

"Ooh, touchy, are we?" teased Sirius.

"Leave him alone, Padfoot," said James. "Clearly he doesn't want to talk about it. He's allowed to have private thoughts."

"Thank you, James," said Remus. The truth was that if James knew what Remus had been thinking about he would probably disown him for all eternity, and that was the last thing he wanted. There was a short silence that was broken quickly by Sirius.

"Well, I'm hungry, who wants to join me on a journey to the kitchens for a snack?" he said, standing.

"We just got back from lunch!" said Remus.

"So? I'm hungry. Come on, let's go, all three of us. That was, James, you can get your mind off Lily and Remus can get his mind off of… well, whatever he was thinking about," said Sirius. Remus and James agreed and they walked out of the common room.

Little did Sirius know that James and Remus had been thinking about the same thing.

* * *

"You know, Margo, I think we need to go for a walk… let's go out by the lake," said Lily, getting up from her stupor-like state on the bed. Margo, who had been lying on her bed reading a book, looked up.

"Sure, we can do that. I need the exercise anyway," said Margo, marking her place in her novel and standing. Lily and Margo walked into the common room only seconds after James, Remus, and Sirius left it. Lily walked over to the window and looked out.

"It so gorgeous out there, and I haven't been outside all day…" said Lily.

"So what are we waiting for? Let's go!" said Margo, taking Lily's arm and pulling her out of the common room – just as James, Remus, and Sirius vanished around the corner up ahead.

* * *

AN: Finally done! I'm sorry it took me three and a half days but the weekend was rather busy… review people, as they stimulate me to write even more even faster!

xXx SpicySugar xXx


	3. I Think I Know Now

AN: Hey all, I'm back again! Where did my reviewers go? You all, like, disappeared! Come on people, go back to your cheerful, reviewing selves!

* * *

Chapter 3: I Think I Know Now

Taking a walk had always helped Lily to think, and thinking was what she was doing as she and Margo walked in the warm spring air.

"Margo, what if I do have a crush on him?" asked Lily, as they walked around the lake.

"Well, then you tell him how you feel. It's not like you guys are tight friends or anything, so you wouldn't have to worry about ruining a friendship," reasoned Margo.

"That's true… but I just get so nervous over those type of things. Maybe I should wait for him to come to me… that way I'll know he feels the same way," said Lily.

"He could be thinking the same thing," said Margo. "And then—"

"—We'd both be waiting for the other person to come and they never would," finished Lily.

"So, does this mean you _are_ falling for Remus?" asked Margo with a sly smile. Lily was silent for a few moments.

"You know, I think I am," said Lily. Margo just smiled.

* * *

Remus didn't have near as much fun as he should have going down to the kitchens with his friends. Even though Sirius had predicted it would get his mind off of "whatever it was he was thinking about," he was still deep in thought about Lily. He tried to appear cheerful nonetheless, but as soon as he, James, and Sirius exited the kitchens, Remus stated that he was feeling a bit drowsy, and said he was going to take another walk outside to wake himself up.

"You sure you're okay, Moony?" asked Sirius.

"Yeah, I'm fine… I just need some time to myself for a while," said Remus. As he separated from his friends, he heard Sirius say to James, "The full moon must be getting close, he usually gets moody around then…" Remus laughed to himself, knowing full well that his transformation wasn't due for another ten days. He had a feeling Sirius had said that loud enough so Remus would hear it and attempt to cheer him up. He did smile slightly as he walked away and towards the front doors.

* * *

"How about you go and find him right now?" suggested Margo.

"But don't you think that's a bit sudden? I mean, I just discovered my feelings for him…" said Lily.

"If you don't go now, you might lose your will to," remarked Margo.

"Well, I suppose…"

"See you, Lily. I'll be in the common room," said Margo, her eyes flashing ahead of them and then back to Lily. She winked and walked away, leaving Lily standing alone along the banks of the lake. She looked up ahead of her and saw none other than Remus wandering aimlessly around the grounds. He was at least a hundred meters away and seemed to not have noticed her. Taking a deep breath, she approached him.

* * *

Remus walked around the grounds with no particular destination, thinking more and more about Lily. It wouldn't be long before she completely consumed him. He stopped abruptly and sat down in the middle of the grass, staring at the earth as if it could provide him with the answers he needed. He couldn't stop thinking about Lily, but he had never exactly held intelligent conversation with her. They were more close to acquaintances than friends. He thought that maybe, if he actually had a chance to talk with her… _really_ talk with her… than maybe he could get her off of his mind for a while. But then again, he might just start thinking about her even more since he would have held up a conversation with her… then, suddenly, as if like a bright light blaring into his mind, he realized what he had to do.

He had to tell her how he felt.

It made perfect sense… if she felt the same way, he wouldn't feel so terrible with having her on his mind anymore, but if she _didn't_ feel the same way, he would simply brush it off and forget about the whole thing since there wouldn't really be anything to hope for. He was about to get up when a voice sounded right next to him, startling him.

"Hello, Remus," said the female simply. He jumped and whipped around to find none other than Lily standing there, smiling at him. "I'm sorry for scaring you… may I join you?" she asked.

"Er, sure," said Remus. "I was actually just about to go looking for you."

"Really?" said Lily, sitting down next to him cross-legged. "Can I ask why?"

"I… wanted to… tell you something," said Remus. Lily noticed his broken and unconfident speech.

"Remus, is something wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"No, no, nothing… were you looking for me or did you just happen upon me?" asked Remus, changing the subject.

"Well, I was looking for you, yes. I have something I wanted to tell you, as well."

"Well, ladies first," said Remus, keen to put off his confession as long as possible. Lily shook her head.

"No, you go first, it's only polite," said Lily.

"Any more polite than I wishing you would go first?" asked Remus, smiling.

"Hm, you have a point, but still, I insist, you first," said Lily, gesturing for him to continue.

"Well, all right," said Remus after a pause. "I, well, I'm actually not quite sure how to start…"

"Oh, just spit it out," said Lily. "No need to be eloquent, it's just you and me." She smiled.

"I've been, well, thinking about you a lot lately, Lily…" he started. Lily's heart skipped a beat. Could he possibly mean what she thought he meant?

"And I've come to realize that I sort of… well… have… feelings for you…" he finished quietly, and he blushed rather deeply. He stared at the ground again. Lily did not reply immediately, as she was looking at him curiously, trying to formulate a reply.

"Go ahead, walk off, call me crazy, whatever you're going to do… no need to make me suffer…" he said dejectedly. Lily smiled.

"Remus? Remus, look at me…" said Lily. When he made no move to obey, Lily gently placed her hand on his chin and lifted his head up and turned it toward her. She saw the wonder and sadness in his eyes, but when he saw her smile, his spirits seemed to lift slightly.

"I was going to tell you the same thing," said Lily slowly, her smile widening.

"Really?" said Remus hopefully.

"Really," said Lily. "Now, you still look like something's wrong," noted Lily, and she embraced Remus in a hug. When she pulled away from him, she looked him straight in the eyes. "What's wrong, Remus?"

"It's just… well… it's James," stated Remus. Lily's eyes flashed.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, see, he's always wanted you to be his girl, and…" he stopped at Lily's sharp intake of breath. "What?"

"You mean, James still likes me?" asked Lily. "Even after, what, over two years?"

"Oh, I think it's been longer than that, Lily. Anyway, like I was saying, James still likes you, and if he ever found out that I, well…"

"Shh," said Lily, putting her index finger on his mouth. "It won't get out, I promise… on one condition."

"I'm listening…" said Remus.

"I have to be able to tell Margo, but I promise you, she won't tell a soul," said Lily.

"Sure, one person can't hurt. James can never find out though… not until he's over you…" said Remus.

"I understand completely," said Lily. Her stomach rumbled. "Oh, I'm hungry… it's a shame dinner isn't for another four hours…" Remus's eyes brightened considerably.

"Well, I know where we can get an afternoon snack," said Remus.

"But—"

"Come on, just follow me," said Remus, taking Lily's hand and standing. She followed suit.

"But where…?"

"Just trust me," said Remus, and he led her back to the castle.

* * *

"Where _is_ he?" asked Sirius as he lost his second game of wizard chess to James. "He's been gone practically an hour!"

"Patience is a virtue, Padfoot," said Peter, who hadn't been around all day because he had been in the library working on a Potions essay.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, Peter…" grumbled Sirius.

"He's right, you know," said James, clearing up the chessboard. "He'll be back when he's had time to think." Sirius regarded James curiously.

"You have a sensitive side you keep hidden, James," said Sirius.

"Well, we all do, don't we?" said James off-handedly.

"I think it would impress Lily if you showed her you really are a nice guy and not the hard-core prankster she thinks you are," suggested Sirius slyly.

"I agree, James… look at all the other girls. They all brag about how all their boyfriends are so _nice_ and _kind_ and _caring_…" said Peter. "That's why Sirius doesn't have a decent girlfriend…"

"HEY!" said Sirius loudly.

"Don't deny it, you know he's right," said James. "But I wouldn't dare show my goody-goody Gryffindor side in _public_," continued James as if it were a terrible crime.

"Honestly, Prongs, anything dealing with the right and good seems so appalling to you…" said Remus, who again appeared while his companions were deep in discussion.

"How do you _do_ that?" demanded Sirius. "That's the second time you've done that today!"

"It's skill, Sirius," said Remus, sitting down in an empty chair.

"Oh, and by the way, we were wondering if you were ever going to come back before the school year ended…" muttered Sirius.

"Now, Padfoot, you know I'd never abandon you guys," said Remus in a mock-supportive voice.

"You seem much more cheerful than before, Remus. All that thinking must have done you some good," said James with a smile. "See, Sirius? There _are_ benefits to thinking. Not, of course, that you would know, since your brain never seems to use one iota of thinking power…"

"What is this? A pick-on-Sirius session?" demanded Sirius hotly. "I'll have you know that most of the pranks we pull have _my_ thinking power behind them…"

"Actually, Sirius, you and James _come up_ with the idea most of the time, Peter typically agrees to do it, and _I'm_ the one that typically ends up figuring out how to make it all work…" said Remus.

"Oh be quiet, all of you…" grumbled Sirius.

"Okay, okay, we know when to stop," said Remus. "At least, _some_ of us do," he said, shooting a look at James. James, who knew perfectly well what Remus was talking about, simply answered with an innocent, "What?"

* * *

AN: And that's a wrap! Please people, review! REVIEW! I COMMAND YOU!

-xXx SpicySugar xXx-


	4. Please?

AN: Back I am! Well, my reviewers did come back a little! Thanks to **dewwater**, **starrish and eyed**, **Emma Lovegood**, **MoonShineMagicSsarer**, and **Letty**. Now, I know that some of you are thinking that Remus and Lily's realization of their feelings did go kind of fast, but really, it wasn't THAT unrealistic…. I had an experience somewhat like that one, short spaces of time and all. Now, the chapter…

* * *

Chapter 4: Please?

Lily woke up Monday morning feeling better than she had in a while. For a full Sunday, she actually had something to do besides schoolwork. Even James didn't disturb her things for once. She and Remus had spent the entire day together the day before. When he had taken her to the kitchens on Saturday, she had gotten the feeling that he knew of many more places around the castle that she didn't. He promised to take her to many of the places the Marauder's had discovered the next day, and did she ever have fun going to places she was sure even the Headmaster didn't know existed.

"Lily, are you up yet?" asked Margo through Lily's bed curtains.

"Yeah, I'm getting there," said Lily thickly. A few moments later she found herself stretching and slipping out of her bed to an empty dormitory. _Where did everyone go?_ She wondered. She glanced at her bedside clock and saw that it was ten minutes until breakfast. She overslept! Cursing Margo for not waking her sooner, she quickly threw on her robes and tidied her appearance as best she could without showering. She then dashed down to the common room and was stopped in her tracks by the sight of Remus waiting for her.

"Remus, what--?" he started to ask.

"I figured you'd like an escort to breakfast," he said. Then le lowered his voice and leaned a bit closer to her. "Since you took a bit longer than usual, James and the others are already at breakfast and won't notice us walking together." Lily giggled.

"I suppose you're right." She checked her watch. "Breakfast will be starting any minute, and I'm starved, come on, let's go!" said Lily, dashing for the portrait hole, Remus close behind her. Once they were in the corridor leading away from the Gryffindor common room, they slowed to a fast walk. Neither of them talked for a minute until Remus broke the silence.

"So… are you worried about N.E.W.T.s?" he asked casually.

"A little. I think the nerves will truly kick in once they get really close. I was pretty nervous for my O.W.L.s, so I can't imagine N.E.W.T.s," replied Lily.

"Well, you're smart. You should pass them easily," said Remus.

"You're smart, too, Remus," said Lily. "And, to be honest, I've been wondering how you didn't get to be Head Boy…" said Lily. Remus didn't reply for a minute. He had come to Dumbledore at the end of sixth year, because he knew he would be one of the boys that were highly considered to be Head Boy. He had specifically requested to not be Head Boy because of his monthly transformations. The Headmaster had understood, and had asked him if he could recommend anyone as a better candidate. Before he had thought about it, Remus had replied "James Potter." Dumbledore, knowing James's record of troublesome pranks, had regarded Remus curiously. In truth, Remus had suggested James because he knew Lily would probably get Head Girl, and he figured James might have a better chance of winning Lily over if they shared duties and all that.

However, he couldn't have told Dumbledore that, so he quickly manifested the reason that James was "extremely brave and loyal, would take the utmost risks for anyone he loved and some he didn't, and he really was reasonable and smart deep down, and that being made Head Boy would help him realize that." Remus could tell that Dumbledore would still have rather considered him over James, but he said that he understood and dismissed Remus with a very thoughtful look on his face. Remus had a bad feeling that Dumbledore knew the real reason he had suggested James, and he was amazed when he found out that Dumbledore had taken his suggestion in a letter from James in early August. He never did tell James about that, and James was very confused about getting Head Boy, because he thought Remus would get it for sure. Remus told him to just brush it off and take it as good luck.

"Remus, did you hear me?" asked a concerned Lily.

"Yes, yes, I was just thinking. I guess Dumbledore realized that James was a better person than I was," said Remus. Lily laughed.

"James? A better person than you? Never," said Lily. Remus simply shrugged, and Lily got the feeling that he wasn't telling her all he knew. She didn't think on the feeling long.

"We're going to have to enter the Great Hall separately. You can go in first," said Remus when they got closer to their destination.

"That makes sense… we don't want your friends to get suspicious. See you later, Remus," said Lily, speeding up and walking into the Great Hall and over to where Margo was sitting.

* * *

Remus slowed his walk and appeared in the Great Hall about thirty seconds after Lily. He looked around, spotted where James, Sirius, and Peter were sitting, and walked over to them.

"About time you showed up, Remus, even Sirius was here before you," remarked James. "You oversleep?"

"Yeah," said Remus. Sirius shook his head from side to side.

"Tsk tsk tsk, Remus… what are we going to do with you?" he said jokingly. Peter and Remus both laughed. Remus stopped, however, when he felt someone staring at him. He looked on the other side of the table and down a few seats and saw Lily's eyes looking at him. He flashed her a quick smile and looked back to his friends.

"We start out with Double Transfiguration with Ravenclaw today… you all _did_ do your homework, didn't you?" asked Remus.

"Of course we did, Remus," said Sirius a little too innocently. Remus had been looking at James, and he didn't move his head, but rather simply moved his eyes to James's right to look at Sirius.

"Really? What manner of scheming and cheating did you use this time?" asked Remus dully.

"None, we promise!" said James, holding up his hand.

"I did it, Remus," said Peter eagerly.

"Good for you, Peter," said Remus patting him on the back. Then he turned back to James. "Honestly, James, if you can't do your homework properly then how do you expect to keep the title of Head Boy?"

"Come on, Remus, there's only two more months in the year… he can't very well take away my badge now, can he?" asked James. "And we really did do our homework… _really_."

"You didn't copy off of each other…?"

"Nope, there was no need to," said Sirius. Remus still looked at the pair carefully.

"You two never do your homework properly… so what was it this time? Stealing someone else's? Pestering McGonagall with questions? What?" Sirius sighed heavily.

"Well, Moony, if you don't believe us, then I guess you aren't truly our friend…"

"Sirius, knock it off," said Remus, but he still smiled. "Fine, turn in your homework, whatever mockery of an assignment it is, but don't come running to me when she sees through whatever scheme it was this time."

"Yes, sir!" said Sirius, saluting Remus. Remus couldn't help but to chuckle.

* * *

"Please, pass your homework assignments to the front of the room," said Professor McGonagall a half hour later. Lily, who had managed to get a seat in the third row, sitting directly behind Remus, opened her bag and pulled her homework out of it. She passed it in front of her to Remus, discreetly gripping his right shoulder for a second, making sure his friends didn't see, who were all in desks to Remus's left. She couldn't see it, of course, but her small action made Remus smile. Once Professor McGonagall had all the parchments and had placed them on her desk, she faced the class.

"Today we will be learning more about Animagi, and for a little entertainment you will learn a spell that you will perform on a partner to show what animal they would become if they were an Animagus. So, if you would all please get out a quill and parchment for taking notes and your books…" said Professor McGonagall. Lily was too busy getting her book and parchment to notice the worried glance the Marauders shared with each other.

* * *

After forty-five minutes of listening to McGonagall ramble on about the history of the ancient magic of Animagus transformation, of which James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were all very familiar with, the professor instructed the class to put away their books and quills and take out their wands. This pronouncement was met with excited whispering, coming from the girls especially. Lily looked to her left at Margo and smiled, and Margo smiled back.

"Partners?" mouthed Margo to Lily. Lily responded with a nod.

"This spell is rather simple and most of you should be able to handle it on the first try. This is just a simple exercise for your enjoyment," Professor McGonagall was saying. "This incantation is _animesari_. Simply point your wand at the person and say the incantation, and they will briefly transform into an animal. To give you a feel for what will happen, I'll have a volunteer pair up here to demonstrate."

No one raised his hand.

"No one? Okay then, how about Miss Evans and Mister Lupin?" said McGonagall. The entire class knew she picked those two because they were the smartest in the class, and there were a couple groans heard, which the professor quickly shushed as the pair walked up tio the front of the room.

"Mister Lupin, you may cast it first," said Professor McGonagall, using her wand to move her desk all the way to the wall for give them maximum space. Remus nodded, and raised his wand. He smiled at Lily briefly before casting the spell.

"_Animesari,_" he said, and Lily shrunk down to a red-haired cat with green eyes. She meowed and several of the girls cooed over the "cute little kitty." A few seconds later Lily appeared once again in the room. Lily looked at Remus and smiled, but Remus was looking extremely nervous now for some reason, exchanging glances with his friends in the second row.

"Okay, Miss Evans, now you try casting it on Mister Lupin," said the professor after praising Remus's job well done. Suddenly, as Lily raised her wand, James raised his hand.

"Yes, Mister Potter?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"May I go instead of Remus?" he asked.

"No, Mister Potter, I think you've had enough attention for a while. I already chose Lupin. You'll have your chance when the rest of the class practices the incantation. Now, go ahead, Miss Evans," responded the professor. Lily nodded and smiled, then turned back to Remus.

"_Animesari_," she said, and she gasped when Remus hunched down on all fours and turned into a large wolf with brown fur. He howled loudly and the same girls that had been fawning over Lily, Margo included, were now slightly screaming. In fact, the only people in the room that looked calm were James, Sirius, and Peter. Remus stayed transformed for a full minute before returning back to his original state, unlike Lily, who had only been a cat for no more than fifteen seconds. Remus looked at Lily with a very curious expression in his eyes, and she couldn't quite place what it was. However, as Professor McGonagall applauded their good show and the pair walked back to their seats, Lily thought about how Remus had been glancing at his friends and how he had looked so worried… how James had volunteered to go up instead… how Remus had been transformed for four times as long as she had… how Remus somehow always disappeard once each month... then, something clicked inside her mind.

_Remus was a werewolf_.

It was the only logical explanation, as Remus had never been nervous about any spells any time before this that she had noticed, and James would _never_ be put under a spell in front of the class, arrogant as he was… and the fact that he regularly transformed into a wolf would explain why he stayed in that state so long… She swallowed hard as she sat back down in her seat, but vowed not to tell anyone about this discovery, lest she be wrong. She wouldn't even tell Margo.

"Wow, Lily, that was wicked!" remarked Margo as Lily sat down.

"Yeah…" said Lily distractedly.

"If you would all please get up from your seats so I can clear away the desks to give you all more space…" said Professor McGonagall. All the students quickly got up and Professor McGonagall waved her wand. The desks flew over the heads of the students to either side of the room, stacking themselves neatly.

"Now, please, carry on with the incantation practice, and spread out with your partners, the room is big enough that no one should run into someone else when they transform…" said Professor McGonagall. "I will be monitoring you closely and I will let you know when it's time for you to pack up." Margo and Lily moved to a deserted corner of the room.

"Since we already know what I am I guess I'll just put the spell on you, all right?" said Lily to Margo, clearing her mind of all thoughts of Remus, difficult as that was. Margo nodded and seemed eager to be an animal for a short space of time. Lily pointed her wand at Margo and said, "_Animesari_" and Margo immediately became a red and brown plumed phoenix. Lily could see delight in the bird's eyes as she flapped her wings and rose a few feet into the air before she landed and became Margo again.

"Wow, you were a phoenix!" said Lily admirably.

"Wicked!" said Margo. "Can I put the spell on you again? You were so adorable as a cat!"

"Oh, all right," said Lily. Margo smiled and took out her wand.

"_Animesari_!" she said happily, and Lily once again transformed into a cat. She heard Margo's squeal of delight and she reached down to pat Lily's head. Lily meowed and purred as she rubbed her head against Margo's delicate hand for a few seconds, and then, after Margo removed her hand, Lily transformed back into herself again.

"This has got to be the most fun Transfiguration class we've ever had," said Margo, still smiling.

"Yeah, I think you're right," replied Lily, glancing over at Remus, who was currently staring at a rat, which she assumed was Peter.

* * *

Later that night as Lily was patrolling the halls after dinner, James came sauntering up to her.

"Hey kitty cat," he said playfully as he walked beside her. She did not look at him as she responded.

"We're supposed to be patrolling _separate_ parts of the castle, Potter."

"Oh, I know…" he replied casually. "I just figured you'd like some company." Lily wondered why he was being so civil to her and she looked at him.

"No, I'm fine," she said, somewhat coldly. James did not respond immediately but also did not walk away. Lily didn't mind his presence _too _much as long as he wasn't doing anything to her or speaking to her. He, however, suddenly broke the silence after a few minutes.

"Lily… can't you just… give us a try?" he asked quietly.

"What?" she snapped, stopping and facing him.

"You heard me," said James. "Can't you just give it a go with me?" Lily understood that he was asking her if she would be his girlfriend pretty much, and found that, despite Margo's words to her, she was a bit surprised.

"No James, no."

"But _why_?" he pleaded.

"Because I'm seeing someone else," she said flatly.

"What? Who? Since when?" he asked.

"That is none of your business."

"Lily, please…?"

"No, James," said Lily, and she turned around and walked away, back towards the common room.

-xXx-

Remus was aimlessly walking around the halls of Hogwarts, for no purpose at all, really. He knew it was getting close to curfew, but if a teacher caught him, he could just say he was patrolling. Prefects _were_ allowed to patrol after curfew, after all. He was just debating heading back to the common room when Lily appeared around the corner ahead of him. She had her head facing the ground and she appeared to be annoyed. He waited for her to get a bit closer to him.

"You'll run into something if you don't look where you're going," he said with a smile, and her head shot up.

"Remus! What are you doing out so late?" she asked, walking up to him.

"Patrolling," he said simply. "Just like you."

"Well, I had a bit of an interruption during my rounds," said Lily, disgruntled.

"Really? What happened?"

"James came up to me and pretty much asked me out. Took me a few minutes to get rid of him, but I did…" said Lily.

"Ah, okay," said Remus with a smile. Suddenly, Lily remembered the Transfiguration class from earlier that day. She looked around and spotted an empty classroom.

"Remus, come in here with me," she said, and dashed to the classroom door, opened it, and disappeared inside. Remus followed her.

"Lily, what—?"

"Remus, listen… I thought about what happened in Transfiguration earlier, and I came to a conclusion that's had me thinking all day, I just have to know if it's true or not," she started. Remus swallowed hard. She had found out. She was probably the only girl smart enough to wonder exactly why he had turned into a wolf… why he had stayed transformed longer than anyone else…

"What is it?" he asked in a would-be casual voice.

"Remus… I… are you… well, a… werewolf?" she whispered the last word. Remus sighed heavily. He saw no point in hiding the truth from Lily.

"Yes," he responded quietly, looking at the ground. "I have been since I was little." Lily did not scream, nor did she gasp. Had he been looking up, he would have simply seen her nod.

"Remus?" she said. He slowly looked up at her. "I don't care that you are," she finished. She found herself involuntarily leaning toward Remus, and he found himself doing the same. Before she knew it, he had placed his lips on hers.

* * *

AN: Finally done! Sorry it took a bit longer than normal, people, so I gave a really, REALLY long chapter in place of that! REVIEW LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!

SpicySugar


	5. Let Me Explain!

AN: Well I'm back, (finally… please forgive me for not updating in forever!) and I'm not happy with you slackers! You stopped reviewing again! My only reviewer for chapters 4 were **Letty **and **MoonShineMagicSsarer**. (Much thanks to you both!) As for the REST of you… WHY ARE YOU NOT REVIEWING? Please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease, review for this chapter:begs:

* * *

Chapter 5: Let Me Explain…!

It had been nearly a week since Lily had found out about Remus's condition. She had pestered him with questions; the foremost in her mind being when was he going to transform the next time. He had told her it would be next Tuesday (which now happened to be only three days away) and that his mood would start to get a bit jumpy in the few days prior to that. He warned her that she should probably avoid contact with him in those times, as the only people known to be able to handle his delicate moods were James, Sirius and Peter. Noticing the hurt look in his eyes as he told her this, Lily had said that she could certainly learn to adapt to his dispositions, but he had insisted that she try to avoid talking to him. He didn't want to hurt her emotionally by snapping at her or something of the like.

So, that was why, on this rainy Saturday morning, Lily was curled up on her bed in the dormitory reading a book. She couldn't concentrate on it, however, and often found herself reading the same paragraph over and over again. She kept glancing out the window at the raindrops sliding down the glass, and a song her mother sang to her as a small child began to play inside her head.

"_Right now it is raining_

_Outside the bedroom window._

_It is comforting to hear_

_The drops so soft and low._

_To me it is relaxing_

_To hear the sound of rain._

_The liquid flowing on the glass_

_Seems to wash away my pain._

_Although nothing is a beautiful_

_As the sunlight on the trees,_

_Nothing is quite as sobering_

_As the raindrops on the leaves._

_Right now it is raining_

_Outside the bedroom window._

_The sounds now drift away,_

_Ever so quiet and slow._"

Her mother had sung that to her whenever it was raining outside to cheer Lily up, because she wasn't able to go outside and play when it rained. It gave her a sort of appreciation for the rain, and now that she was older and not under the watchful eye of her mother, sometimes when it rained she would go out and "play" in it anyway. She debated going out in the rain, but decided against it. She might catch a cold, and with her N.E.W.T.s drawing ever closer, that was the last thing she wanted. Sighing, she went back to reading her book.

* * *

James was lonely. There was nothing else for it. Sirius had a detention with McGonagall for disrupting class by accidentally setting fire to his desk yesterday, Peter had a Charms essay that he was doing in the library (which Remus had already finished and James and Sirius were planning to do late tomorrow night to make sure they had at least _something_ for class Monday), and Remus was spending "alone time" somewhere in the castle – James attributed that to his monthly transformation, coming in just a few days.

He glanced over at Remus's bed, which was next to his, and saw a piece of parchment sticking out underneath Remus's Potions book on his night table. James knew that Remus had been reading up on their next assignment last night before bed, but he wouldn't have written anything down, and if he did, he would have made sure it was in a safe place so he wouldn't lose it, not just sitting on his nightstand where anyone could pick it up. His curiosity piqued, James moved Remus' Potions book to his bed.

_This is Remus's personal information… should I really be looking at it? _James wondered to himself.

**Of course you should… you're best friends, anything that he has you should be able to see**, said a voice inside James's head.

_Well, I guess that's right… Remus always tells me and Sirius and Peter everything,_ James thought, and before he lost his nerve to, he stood up and picked up the piece of parchment and started reading it. He knew immediately that it was _not_ Potions notes, either…

"_Lily,_

_I'm sorry that we can't talk properly, but with my transformation coming up so soon, I get really irritable. I don't want to snap at you, or anything worse than that, and then upset you. Believe me, I want nothing more than to be in your presence and be able to talk to you properly. I wish that I had never been bitten, so that we could be together properly._

_And Lily, I've been thinking… I know you told me that you don't care that I'm a werewolf, but I think that maybe we should stop seeing each other… I mean, every month, I turn into a terrible monster – you saw me in Transfiguration that day - and we can't even talk to each other for days prior to that…_

_What am I talking about? Lily, you're the best thing that's happened to me at this school… no one's ever treated me like you do. You're so kind and caring, and when I hold you in my arms it feels as if everything is right and good in the world for once. No one's ever made me feel like that before. You make me feel like I'm a normal person. Even James, Sirius, and Peter constantly remind me of my condition by joking about it, but not you. And while you don't simply pretend it's not there, you just seemed to have… embraced it. And that's what I love about you Lily—"_

The letter stopped there. Apparently Remus didn't have the time to finish it. But James did not care how or why Remus had not finished the letter. He kept staring at those sentences, and they seemed to be permanently burned into his mind… "Y_ou're the best thing that's happened to me_," "_when I hold you in my arms everything feels right_," "_that's what I love about you_…"

Hadn't Lily told James, when he was walking with her in that corridor, that she was already seeing someone? And she hadn't told him who because it was _Remus_ she was seeing! Remus knew darned good and well that Lily was off limits to anyone except him…

**But it's not like you're already dating her**, came that voice again. **Just because you're too inept at wooing girls doesn't mean that Lily can't date other guys**.

"I am _not_ inept!" said James out loud in a shaky voice. _But Remus knows that I'm trying to win Lily over… he knows it… _thought James weakly, and his knees suddenly buckled and James sat down on his bed, dropping the parchment on the floor and putting his head in his hands. And right then, in that deserted dormitory, James Potter did something he had not done in a long time.

He cried.

It seemed like hours, James sat there, sniffling occasionally, tears flowing out of his eyes. His best friend had betrayed him in the worst way. James just _knew_ that Lily was the girl for him… the girl he wanted to grow up and marry someday… and now, because of Remus, that couldn't happen. He realized that he _did_ love Lily… more than anything else in the world, more than Quidditch, even… his tears began to slow, and he wiped his eyes, but more tears would still leak out of the corners of his eyes. Still looking at the floor, he saw that there was a tiny puddle of tears there, and he blindly searched for his wand on his bedside table with his hand. He didn't think he had the strength to lift his head up. Just as he found his wand and closed his fingers around it, he heard the dormitory door open, and his head instinctively shot up so fast that his neck cracked.

_Remus…_

"James, what's wrong?" asked Remus, noticing his red eyes and the tears that had recently fallen out of his eyes onto his cheeks. It had been a long time since James had actually cried… he started to walk toward his distressed friend, who merely stared at Remus for a second before slowly getting to his feet, still staring at Remus with that awful cold stare.

"_Vizacium,_" said Remus gently, pulling out his wand and pointing it at James's face. Immediately, all traces of James's tears were gone, and his eyes were no longer red and puffy, but back to normal. This simple gesture of kindness seemed to awaken James back to what he had been thinking.

"Remus, I can't believe you did this to me…" said James, still fixing that cold stare on Remus, not bothering to thank him for improving his appearance.

"Did—did what?" asked Remus, fearing the worst. James quickly bent down and straightened again, and Remus saw a piece of parchment in his hand. His heart skipped a beat and he quickly looked over at his nightstand and saw that his unfinished letter to Lily was not there, and he knew that he had left it there last night…

"_Lily!_ That's what you did!" said James, waving the parchment madly through the air. "You _knew_ I loved her Remus… _you knew it!_ And still, you have the audacity to _date_ her!"

"Now… now, James… let me explain…" said Remus, although he didn't have the faintest idea what he was going to say… James had hit the nail on the head, hadn't he? He had known about James's love for Lily, and he still took away any opportunity James would have had with her by dating her himself…

"NO! There's nothing TO explain!" said James loudly. "You're as bad as a traitor to me, now, and I don't want to talk to you! _Ever!_" James then stomped away from his bed and out the door that Remus had just entered. Remus stared at the door for a minute, then looked at his trunk. Sighing, he opened it, and then packed all his belongings into it with his wand. Sirius would side with James once he told him, and then they could easily bully Peter into siding with them as well.

So then, since his entire dormitory would be turned against him, what was the point in staying there? Once his trunk was packed, he closed it, and then shrunk it until it was small enough to fit into his pocket. He picked it up and tucked inside his jeans pocket, then calmly walked out of the dormitory. He knew that James would not have lingered in the common room but instead wandered around the castle. Glad for this, Remus quickly exited the common room and walked purposely toward his destination: the Room of Requirement.

* * *

Noticing it was nearly time for lunch, Lily got up from her bed and placed her book on her night table. After exiting the girl's dormitory, she took her time walking out of the common room and toward the Great Hall, so that by the time she got there, a lot of other people would be there also. To her misfortune, "a lot of other people" included James, and when she arrived at the doors to the Great Hall, he was just strutting up to them as well. To her shock and amazement, he opened the door, but then stepped back to let her walk through.

Glaring at him suspiciously, she walked into the Hall and scanned the Gryffindor table for Margo. She had been spending the morning with Daniel doing who knows what, but had promised Lily that she would be at lunch. She spotted Margo sitting with a couple other girls in their year, and made a beeline for them.

"Hey Lily!" said Margo when Lily sat down next to her.

"Hey. You have fun this morning?"

"Oh yeah, it was all right. Dan and I basically spent the morning wandering around the castle," said Margo.

"Yeah, finding different places to snog," said a passing Slytherin seventh-year with a laugh. Margo blushed a deep red and Lily glared at the Slytherin.

"So what did you do this morning?" asked Margo hurriedly.

"Oh, I was just reading in the dormitory. I really had nothing better to do," said Lily. Margo regarded her curiously but did not say anything about Remus, as the gossiping girls around them did not know that Remus and Lily were an item.

Lily did not see Remus come in at all during lunch, and was beginning to worry about him, but Margo put the thought from her mind when she said that Remus might not be feeling well. Even Lily didn't know how close Margo had come to the truth when she said that.

* * *

AN: FINALLY DONE! I'm incredibly sorry for not updating this sooner, but I promise, I'm not going to abandon it! Review, PLEASE!

-xXx SpicySugar xXx-


	6. I Love You

AN: WHERE ARE MY REVIEWERS? I only had one reviewer for chapter 5 (Thanks **MoonLightMagicSsarer**!) Look people, I'm sorry it's been taking me a while to update, summer's been busy, but this is ridiculous! You really need to review so I have some incentive to continue writing this story!

* * *

Chapter 6: I Love You

Remus looked around his new sleeping quarters with eyes laden with sorrow. Nothing seemed to be going right for him lately… the only thing good in his life was Lily, but because of her, everything else was going wrong. His grades has slipped just slightly, because he would spend his classes daydreaming about Lily rather than paying attention… his friends had shunned him because he had "betrayed" James… and, his transformations kept him from seeing Lily properly. So now, here he was in the Room of Requirement, running from his troubles so he could be somewhere alone.

When he had conjured the room, he had simply told it to give him a place where he could stay for a few days. The room definitely listened, and gave him something that resembled a hotel room. Along with a twin bed, night table, and dresser with a mirror, he was given a bookshelf, a reading chair, a small table for homework, and a tiny closet that could hang a few sets of dress robes and several cloaks. Sighing heavily, Remus removed his trunk from his pocket, returned it to its normal size, and started unpacking his things.

He had a bad feeling he would be here for more than simply a few days.

* * *

Lily was really worrying about Remus when she did not see him at dinner, and more so when he was not in the common room that evening. Margo kept trying to tell her that maybe Remus was ill and didn't want to eat, or that maybe he had a boatload of homework. Lily was not convinced, as the last time she had seen Remus he seemed perfectly fine, and the seventh years had been given hardly any homework for the weekend. She could hardly attribute it to part of his transformation and him being moody, because she had never noticed him skipping dinners before except for one night a month.

Wait a minute.

_Skipping dinners…_ Remus wasn't skipping dinners at all! He simply wasn't dining with the rest of the school…. Struck with sudden inspiration, Lily leapt out of the armchair she had been sitting in.

"And just where are you going?" asked Margo.

"Tell you later, I'll be right back!" called Lily over her shoulder as she dashed out of the portrait hole.

* * *

"James?" came a small voice from across the dorm. The owner of the voice was sitting gingerly on the edge of his bed.

"What, Wormtail?" snapped James, who, if it weren't for his tense facial features, would look quite relaxed leaning against his headboard.

"Aren't you… worried... about Remus at all?" asked Peter tentatively. He had hardly finished the question when James responded.

"No."

"But James, he hasn't been around since you confronted him, maybe—"

"Oh, give it a rest, Peter," said Sirius from his bed, where he was lying on his back, his head by the foot of the bed and his feet propped up on the headboard.

"I just think that maybe you were a bit harsh on him…"

"Honestly, Peter, are you with me on this or against me?" asked James, sitting up straight and glaring at Peter.

"Well, I'm with you, of course…" mumbled Peter, trailing off. All three boys were silent as they stared at Remus's empty bed, each with different thoughts on their minds.

"I'm going to take a walk," said James abruptly, and he rose quickly from the bed and strode out of the room.

"Do you think we should go with him?" asked Peter after a short silence.

"No, just let him be," replied Sirius.

"I think maybe he's going mad, Padfoot…" said Peter, settling himself on his bed more comfortably, a signal that he wasn't going to leave the room.

"No, he's not going mad," said Sirius. He paused, and then continued, "He's just suffered a severe disappointment." Peter noted how Sirius had not cracked a joke or made a single sarcastic remark since James had told them about Remus and Lily.

It was a mark of just how serious the situation was.

* * *

Remus looked at the clock on the night table in his new room. It was eight o' clock. Dinner was long over by now, and Remus wasn't even remotely hungry, but he knew he should eat. He pondered for a moment on eating or simply starving himself until morning, made up his mind, and rose out of the reading chair, heading for the door. He knew the kitchen elves would be more than willing to give him some food; the only thing he was worried about was running into the rest of the marauders getting an after-dinner snack.

It was a long walk down to the kitchens, since they were below the Great Hall and the Room of Requirement was on the seventh floor, but he got there after about a half hour, and by then his stomach was beginning to rumble with hunger. He gratefully tickled the pear in the portrait of fruit that served as the door to the kitchen and stepped into what seemed like a sea of house elves, all bustling about doing their after-dinner duties. Several of them rushed over to Remus when they caught sight of him and asked him what "Mister Lupin" wanted to eat.

A few minutes and several tea trays later, Remus was sitting by the kitchen fire surrounded by muffins and biscuits, cups of tea and marmalade, and a wide assortment of after-dinner mints. He had politely asked the house elves to leave him by himself for a while, and they obliged, being as quiet as possible while going about their jobs. Being in such a comfortable and warm atmosphere had taken his mind off of his betrayed friends and it was now on Lily.

He kept thinking about her and remembering her fabulous personality, her stunning beauty, her great sense of humor perfectly balanced with a sense of reality. The wonderful qualities she possessed was enough to make any guy stagger and fall head-over-heels for her; which, Remus said to himself, was exactly what he had done. But he was different, he told himself sternly. He didn't just go for the outside appearance, he really cared for Lily, he really loved her, he really wanted to— Remus stopped mid-thought.

Did he just say he loved Lily?

He ran through all his thoughts again slowly, and he came to the realization that his love for Lily was quite a real thing. He would do his utmost to protect her, he cared for her with all his heart, he felt an indescribable joy whenever he was around her, he found himself longing to be with her every second of the day—

"Remus?"

Remus jumped in surprise and dropped the muffin he had been holding. He whipped around to find Lily standing hesitantly in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Lily…" said Remus, and he realized that his voice had an unexplainable quavering huskiness to it. He cleared his throat uneasily

"Um, may I join you?" she asked. He noted the complete lack of eloquence in her mannerisms with amusement.

"Sure," he said, in a much clearer voice, and he watched her walk over to him and sit down amidst all the snacks.

"I realize I shouldn't be around you, but—"

"Lily, no," he said, turning to face her. "I don't care. I want to be around you… no, I _need_ to be around you… I need you for me to survive…"

"Because you love me."

Remus was more than a little startled at this abrupt statement from Lily. Had he really been thinking so loudly that his thoughts could he heard by someone else? Lily smiled.

"You were mumbling… I've been standing in the door for about five minutes or so," said Lily, as if reading his mind. "You just seemed so intent that I really didn't want to interrupt you, plus I was curious, but I knew that I really shouldn't be eavesdropping…" she rushed on.

"It's okay," he said. "Really," he added, catching the look on her face. Although he should have been insulted at this disregard for his privacy, Remus found he didn't much mind the intrusion. There was an awkward moment where neither of them said anything.

"Did you mean it?" asked Lily quietly, hugging her knees to her chest and gazing into the fire.

"Mean what?" asked Remus distractedly.

"Do you really… love me?"

"Yes," replied Remus without hesitation. Lily really had to admire his guts at being able to admit that.

"Wow…" she whispered.

Another awkward silence.

"I think I love you, too…" she said. Remus, who had also been staring at the fire, turned his head to look at her suddenly. Lily turned her head away from the dancing flames as well and saw the desperate look in his eyes that spoke better than words ever could. He was asking, in its simplest form, if she was telling the truth. Her emerald eyes sparkled in the firelight as she smiled slightly and tilted her head toward Remus slightly. He hesitated only for a second before he leaned forward and captured her lips in his for a long and passionate kiss.

Neither of them noticed the many sets of tennis ball-sized eyes watching them, each pair belonging to a house elf, and each house elf smiling. But there was one elf that was not watching the couple by the fire, one house elf that was not smiling. Instead, this elf's vision was focused on the normal-sized eyes in the doorway of the kitchen.

And those normal-sized hazel eyes were brimming with tears.

* * *

James paced around and around the Honeyduke's cellar. His hair was incredibly messy, even more than usual. His clothes were patched with dirt, he was sweating profusely, and his breath reeked of stale butterbeer. In simple terms, James Potter was a wreck.

And he did not care in the least.

There was only one thought running through his head at the moment, and it was only three words long, but it tore him apart until he felt like he couldn't live any longer.

_Remus kissed Lily, Remus kissed Lily, Remus kissed Lily…_ This ran through his head thirty-four times, but the thirty-fifth time, his mind switched it around.

_Lily kissed Remus._

This caused him to break down completely, and he sank to the stone floor of the cellar, leaning up against a crate of Fizzing Whizbees, sobbing uncontrollably. He had never cried so much in one day… but then again, he had never had so many reasons to cry this much in one day. He had only been sitting there a few minutes when he was startled half out of his mind by the very abrupt presence of light. His head, which had been resting on his knees, was now staring fixedly at the cellar stairs, where there was an elderly woman standing with her wand held aloft, a bright light at the tip of it illuminating the room.

The first thought that James had was _RUN!_ But he sat rooted to the spot, staring at the owner of the candy shop that he so often used as a haven when he was upset or needed time to think.

"Well," said the woman after a minute, "I don't think you're a robber, considering that you're still sitting there and not halfway to London… but what in Merlin's name is a young man like you doing in my cellar at nine o' clock in the evening?"

Still, James could not say or do anything. Had he really been sobbing so loudly that someone had been able to hear it upstairs? The woman took a step down on the stairs, and suddenly, as if being removed from a trance, James found himself able to move again, and he jumped to his feet.

"Now, now, no need to get excited, I'm not going to hurt you or turn you into the authorities or anything," said the woman, continuing to step down the stairs. James, now deciding that it was best to stay put, waited until the woman was directly in front of him.

"Now, can you talk to me?" asked the woman with a smile.

"Er…" said James.

"There we go, now, how about your name?"

"James. James Potter," he replied.

"And why exactly are you in my cellar?"

"I… er… well… I go to Hogwarts…and—"

"And how exactly did you get here if you're supposed to be up at the school?" asked the woman. Although the woman was speaking kindly, James still rather felt like he was being interrogated for a crime of serious offense.

"Er…" he said again. He glanced at the floor where there was a stone that lead to the secret passageway to Hogwarts for a second before looking back at the woman, prepared to lie and say that he snuck out of the castle. The woman, however, had noticed his glance to the floor.

"Ah," she said. "I didn't think anyone knew about the _Dissendium_ passage, but apparently I've been proved wrong."

"Well, I guess there's no point in denying it then…" said James after a moment.

"But why would you sneak out of school?" asked the woman.

"It's kind of a long story… very boring, too," he added at the look in the woman's eye that clearly said she wanted to know more.

"Come on, dearest, come upstairs where it's comfortable, and you tell old Mrs. Honeyduke all about this 'long and boring' story of yours…"

James, feeling that he was in for a long night and a whole lot of trouble at school in the morning, reluctantly followed the woman back up the cellar stairs.

* * *

AN: Well, that was fun! I hope you all liked that chapter, especially the end… him being discovered in Honeyduke's came to me in some brilliant stroke of inspiration that I can't help but to be grateful for. PLEASE REVIEW!

-xXx SpicySugar xXx-


	7. Maybe

AN: I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever, but it really doesn't matter, cause as far as I can see, only one person reads it... :-(

-xXx-

Chapter 7: Maybe…

Sometimes, Lily really hated homework. She had been staring at the near blank sheet of parchment in front of her for the past half hour. It was simply titled "The Properties of Unicorn Hair and It's Uses," but nothing more. It was only Wednesday, and this essay for Potions wasn't due until Friday… Lily set her quill down on the table in front of her and stared out of one of the common room windows. It was raining. Again. It had rained every day this week since Saturday, and all the Quidditch players were getting anxious since the Quidditch Finals were the upcoming weekend. Of course, Lily could really care less about mundane things like Quidditch.

Lily took her eyes off the window and glanced at the common room. It was nearly full; the rain was keeping everyone inside the castle. There was virtually no one on the grounds. Although, Remus would be returning soon from the Shrieking Shack, having completed his monthly transformation and by now being ready to return to school. Lily looked back at her essay, then out the window, and then back at her essay again. Smiling mysteriously, Lily slid out of her chair and walked over to the portrait hole, exiting silently, in the hopes that no one would see her leaving. And she almost got away without anyone noticing.

Almost.

Lily jogged through the castle, taking all the shortcuts she knew to get to the front doors. Once she was there, she stared for a moment at the solid oak doors, then smiled, opened one of them, and stepped out into the pouring rain. Instantly, she felt happier than she had since that previous afternoon when she had said her farewell to Remus until the next day. Laughing, she eventually made her way over to the lake, and by the time she got there she was soaked to the skin, her thick cotton white blouse sticking to her stomach; her black, red, and gold plaid skirt heavy on her waist; and her red hair dripping with water, several locks falling out of the bun she'd had it in and framing her face haphazardly.

Her green eyes sparkled with delight when she got the sudden urge to make herself look like a fool by spinning around in circles, her arms stretched out to their fullest – and she was smiling and laughing like a goon. Unfortunately, this caused her to get dizzy, and when she stopped herself from spinning she found herself staggering to stay upright. Just when she lost her balance and started to fall, she felt two strong arms catch her around the waist and help her to stand straight. Whoever it was that had helped her was behind her and now had their hands on her shoulders, holding her steady. When the world stopped spinning she turned around to find none other than James standing there.

"Are you okay?" he asked her. She noted that he was just as wet as she was – the rain was still coming down in buckets.

"Yes, I – I'm fine…" she said, still wondering why James had stopped her from falling and not simply watched her hit the ground and then laugh at her. Moreover, she was wondering why James was even out here in the first place…

"Oh, that's good then… you seemed a bit loony for a minute…"

"Loony?" asked Lily quizzically.

"Well, sane people don't often spin around in circles laughing their heads off," said James with a slight smile. Lily smiled, too, but it vanished quickly. _Can I really be having a decent conversation with James Potter?_

"I was, um, just letting off some steam, you know… exams coming up and all…" she said awkwardly. James raised his eyebrows.

"Interesting method, but I'll let you operate the way you want."

There was a long silence in which neither of them said anything. They simply stared at anything that wasn't the other person.

"I know about you and Remus…" said James finally. He spoke very quietly, as if he didn't much want to speak at all.

"You do?" asked Lily, looking at James.

"Yes… I thought he would have told you, but I guess he had other things on his mind," said James. "Lily, listen to me, please…"

"James, if you're going to try and woo me again…"

"No, Lily, just listen," James interrupted. "I—whenever I think about you, I feel something in my heart… I'm not quite sure what it is, but I think it means that we're destined to be together… it's indescribable, and I just know that somewhere in you, there's a part of you that cares about me, too… you're too nice of a girl to completely shut me out… you're practically perfect…"

Lily was standing there, not even feeling the rain any longer, listening to this speech. Something stirred very deep inside her, so small that she could barely feel it, but what James said had struck a chord somewhere deep inside her body, however small.

"Lily, I love you… more than anything…" James said after a short pause. And then, at the same time Lily gave a small gasp in surprise, James did the only thing he could think of to do. All in one smooth motion, he reached out, put his arm around Lily's waist, and pulled her into a deep kiss. Lily's mind exploded with thoughts. This was nothing like what had happened in the Great Hall a couple of weeks ago… this had feeling, this had passion, this had… _love_…

She pulled away after a mere three seconds and covered up this chord inside her body that James had struck with a cold, hard glare.

"I love Remus, James. Not you. And nothing you say – or do – can make up for the years of torment you've put me through." And with that said, Lily turned on her heel and stalked away, back towards the castle, her mind simply a confused jumble of thoughts and ponderings. She loved Remus, not James… James had given her a heartfelt speech telling her exactly how he felt… Remus showed his affection daily… James had seemed sincere… Remus never lied to her… James had apparently been trying to win her over for years but had not succeeded… Remus reeled her in on the first try…

But damn it all, why did James have to be such a good kisser?

-xXx-

Sirius walked into the dorm to find James lying flat on his back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He cautiously walked over to him.

"Prongs, why are you soaking wet?"

"I was outside."

"Oh, brilliant… trying to train yourself up to play in it this weekend?" asked Sirius sarcastically.

"No."

"Okay then, enlighten me, why did you decide to take a stroll around the grounds on a rainy Wednesday afternoon?"

"I was talking to Lily."

"Talking, sure… I don't think you've ever _talked_ to Lily… of course, you've taunted her, scoffed at her, teased her, yelled at her, mocked her, and even kissed her in front of the school… but talked? Nope, never done that one."

James had to give Sirius some credit for trying to lighten the situation but he really wasn't helping much.

"No, really Padfoot… we talked…"

Sirius sat down on the bed, being careful to not sit on a wet spot. If James was serious, then this was worth hearing.

"Come on, James, tell Sirius the story," he said with a smile.

"Fine. But I don't think you'll believe me," said James.

"Try me."

"Well, I saw her leave the common room earlier, so after a few minutes I followed her (using our map, of course) and found her out on the grounds. She was spinning around in circles like an idiot…"

"Wait, Lily Evans, Head Girl, was spinning around in circles?" asked Sirius.

"Yes."

"In the rain?" Sirius persisted.

"_Yes_, now can I continue?"

"Go on…"

"Anyway, she got dizzy and started to fall over but I caught her and asked her if she was okay and stuff… she gave me civil answers. Then I pronounced my undying love for her…"

Sirius laughed. "Wow, you really know how to make sure someone is listening… I assure you, James, I'm hanging onto your every word, and you don't need to test me by saying ridiculous things like you pronounced your 'undying love' for Lily…"

"No, actually, I'm serious."

Sirius's laughter died off quickly. "You—you are?"

"Yes. I told her about how I had that feeling that we were meant for each other and that I knew there had to be some part of her that cared about me, then I told her I loved her, and then…" James stopped talking and sighed.

"And then what?" pressed Sirius.

"I kissed her…"

At this statement Sirius's face went from "patient listening" to "total shock."

"James, the last time you kissed Lily it didn't go so well, remember?"

"This was different. I felt something. _Really_ felt something… and you know what, Padfoot?" asked James, a look of pure bliss on his face.

"What?"

"She kissed me back…"

Now Sirius looked just about near shock overload. But before he could say anything, James continued.

"Of course, then she pulled away after like two seconds and said that she loved Remus and not me and that nothing I said or did would change that."

"James…"

"But it doesn't matter, because she _actually_ kissed me… really, truly, actually kissed me…"

Sirius could see that, at the moment, he would be getting nowhere with James.

"Okay James, I'll let you be… but you might want to try a drying charm on yourself, it could make you a bit more comfortable."

-xXx-

Meanwhile, Lily was having exactly the opposite reaction of James.

"Oh, Margo… I can't believe myself…" moaned Lily into her pillow, which was wet with tears. The rest of herself was dry, however, as she, unlike James, had performed the drying spell upon entering the castle.

"Is it really so bad that you kissed him back when he kissed you? I mean, you've realized your mistake and now you can move on with your life…"

"But if anyone saw… if anyone knew…"

"No one saw anything, you couldn't see five feet ahead in that rain," said Margo bracingly.

"I still can't believe myself… I fell for his little love speech… even if it was only for a few seconds…"

"Well, look at the bright side," said Margo. "James is pretty much the best looking guy in the year. Better him than someone ugly."

"Yeah, but he's also an arrogant prick," said Lily, rolling over onto her back, giving herself some much needed air.

"This is true."

"How do I tell Remus?" asked Lily suddenly.

"You don't tell him. That's definitely something he doesn't need to know. It'll probably make him angry, and he'll get really jealous and possessive."

"I suppose so…"

"Lily, listen… you can just forget about this whole episode and put it behind you, make your life a lot easier…"

"But see, Margo, there's a problem with that," said Lily.

"What's the problem?"

"I don't know if I want to put it behind me…"

-xXx-

AN: Yes, that's the end. DON'T KILL ME! What I'd really like you to do is review!

-xXx SpicySugar xXx-


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